Dance Light as my Heart Lays Under Your Feet

It has been a month now since I have last posted.

Megan has had some physical problems. Her cervix is still thinning out, though the baby is now about 1.5 lbs. and could survive if he were to be born now. Megs is taking hormones to stop labor as much as possible, and the doctors are monitoring her every week with sonograms.

She had to have her throat cauterized as it was bleeding, and at night time bleeding into her lungs. The docs think it is from her hiatal hernia (which she may have gotten from being blown out of a Humvee in Iraq from an explosion) which is exacerbated by her pregnancy, complicated by the radiation she had. No painkillers, and for a week she was pretty uncomfortable.

I will be heading down there in three weeks to see my girls again. Dole is far far away in the mountains of Afghanistan and can only call home once a week. No Internet in the mountains either.

Megan had to move, and may have to move again. Hurray for the glories of on-base housing, but I won't get into that.

The photo tonight is a piece that I am entering in a show called "Touched by Cancer". This piece is called Hope for Megan, and tonight's blog title is a verse from a poem I found in an antique book. I cried while making both this piece and the piece for my father, but it was OK as the tears soothe the pain and they are tears of love.

Patti

Show opens saturday night at Backstage productions in Kingston NY. Email me for more information.

The Girls Are Good

I had a wonderful visit with Megan and Alanna. How could I not? They were both thrilled to see me and we had a fun time cooking, spending Easter together, having a hunt and dinner for the kids and all the girls whose husbands have left for Afghanistan. In addition we went shopping, went to see Horton Hears a Who (FABU movie by the way-----so wonderfully done!) and I spent lots of time potty training.

The trip is always an adventure, but for the most part I have met really cool people on the flights, and I know how to take good care of myself on long layovers. I feel like quite the world traveler, considering once I had a travel phobia.

Megan is having some problems with too many Braxton Hicks, and her cervix appears to be thinning out. Thankfully, she goes to a specialist in Nashville every week who is paying close attention to her situation. They are not suturing her cervix yet, but that may come.

I am entering two pieces in an art show hosted by an Oncology Group in our city. I want to support them as they treated Megan with the most amazing grace and caring. I will post pics at a later time.

Photo of Alanna on Easter day, doing her egg hung. (ps Hmmm....pic not loading???)

To cure, Patti

Heading South

I have my ticket and am heading to see my girls for Easter. Dole has left, Megan is very sad, so Ms. Mary Poppins will make a visit and try to sooth and bring joy to their lives.

I am looking forward to warmer weather weather there, and praying that no tornado alarms sound. I am not liking the dangers of that part of the country. It makes my studio flood look like a sneeze vs. the flu.

I promise I will take lots of pictures, and am sure I will have some stories to tell.

Megs has a visit with the oncologist next month just to touch base. So far her blood has been normal, and her cholesterol and blood pressure super low.

Remember my friends...each day of life is a gift.

That is a lesson I learned this past year.

More after I get back!

patti

It's a Boy!

Another monthly update on Megan.

She is doing well, is at 16 weeks, and they have discovered she is having a boy on her recent sonogram. I tell her she has a million dollar family now, one of each, and she can quit.

She laughs, and says oh no, he won't be the last. Silently I think she is nuts, but perhaps she herself will decide 2 is enough when she has to take care of them on her own, when Dole is deployed, or sent on various missions and trainings.

The pregnancy has not been that smooth as she has been having frequent migranes, still getting sick (I think her immune system is not quite up to par yet) and ended up in the ER last week for severe stomach pain. The docs took as many tests as they could, and said the blood work was negative for cancer, and that they are thinking she has gallstones. She has a scan on the 6th, and this week has an appointment with a doctor in Nashville who deals in high risk pregnancies. So far her cervix is holding out (it did not behave for Alanna....)and we keep our fingers crossed. New York is a long way from Tennessee......

Dole leaves for Afghanistan in two weeks, leaving behind his family. In some ways I was hoping that Megan had to be on bedrest, so that he could stay behind. But things will play out the way they are supposed to.

I suspect I am going to fly to see them in several weeks during my Easter break. I have not surfed for prices yet. I hope I can find a flight for less than 300.00. I hate flying in the winter as the weather is so unpredictable, even in mid March. Last year we got a huge snowstorm the weekend of St. Patrick's day.

Will be back with more posts as I get news, and say a prayer for all those in your life who do have cancer, that they will have love,strength, and support through it all.

patti

Little Baby Crain

I have not been great at keeping up with everything, but here is a picture of Megan's little baby at about 10 weeks. Soon she will be over the dangerous time where she can miscarry..a fear that she had since she had to have a PET scan done early in the pregnancy.

The docs say mom and baby are doing well. Mom has a lot of migraines, but they have given her some medication for that. She will be transferred to a hospital in Nashville for high risk pregnancies as she had problems with Alanna, possibly necessitating a cervical cerclage.

Alanna is excited about the baby, and we are all hoping that she will be TOTALLY potty trained before baby X enters the world.

Every day I rejoice in their good health, and every day I pray for a miracle that will keep Dole home with his family, instead of wandering around Afghanistan. I keep saving my child support for future trips to Tennessee to visit the girls when they are alone and lonely. Then Mimi Poppins will show up with a suitcase full of magic and always brimming with hope and love.

patti

An Announcement

I have waited a long time to post this as Megan and Dole did not tell their entire family till the holidays.

It is a miracle, but Megan is pregnant!She was about to undergo testing to see if her eggs were viable after all the chemo and radiation. I guess those tests will not have to be performed as she is closing on 8 weeks pregnant. She had a PET scan done early on in the pregnancy, which does put her at a higher risk of miscarriage, but so far so good, and the test was negative.

She cannot be tested again until after the baby is born as it is too high a radiation to do 2 more scans. So we hold our breath, take life one day at a time, and hope that all goes well.

We all had a delightful holiday; lots of joy, love, family, friends, good cheer. We did not have a lot of time together, but what time we did have was spent in great joy.

No longer do we take anything for granted--that is the great gift that has come out of cancer. Each day is wonderful, time together cherished. I no longer feel the need to worry about the little things, as in ten years, most of the little things won't matter at all. Megan and I rarely argue, and if we do, it is a matter of a short amount of time before we revisit the issue and talk it out.

It is hard to believe that at 50, I will have two grandchildren. I look forward to the adventures ahead.

The only thing that worries and saddens me is that Dole leaves in March for Afghanistan and Megan will be alone. I am saving my money from my long overdue child support that has been coming from my ex, for the trips ahead to Tennessee/Kentucky. I am sure I will also be taking Alanna for some time in the summer....the blessings of having the summer off as a teacher.

For those of you who read this, please say a meditation or prayer for my friend Gary who is dying at home of cancer. He does not have much time left on this earth. My visits to him have been wonderful....though death is never an easy thing to deal with, I am learning about love, grace, and comforting those who have touched my life.

So much to learn, so little time.

Patti

Can't Wait!

This is a photo Megan just sent of us when I went down to visit her in Tennessee at the end of October. I snagged it from her Myspace page to post it here. Thanks Andrea for the great photo, and Megs, for sending it!

I look awfully young in the photo...wondering if my friend did a little touch up on me, or if it is me au natural.

Megan and Alanna are due to arrive here momentarily. I can't wait!

Meg's PET scan last week was again negative, which gives us great reason to celebrate!

And more to come...soon, very soon.

patti