Monday, September 28, 2009


When someone you love dearly has cancer, each time they get sick or experience an ache, it wrenches your heart. You never rest easy as you know how insidious cancer is, and it becomes an ever present shadow that quite never goes away.

Each time Megan has a test I get worried, though the doctors think that as long as she keeps her lupus at bay, they can keep the likelihood of metastasis at bay.

Lately she has been having severe neck pain, tunnel vision, and had knocked herself out cold from hitting her head on things as her vision is skewed. The doctors were giving her muscle relaxers etc., but not giving her the necessary tests to show what is wrong. With her history, I see that as gross negligence on the part of the medical doctors.

Finally, after crying and telling them that she can't do this anymore, and that the medications are not working, they gave her an x-ray. When she called the office today she was told that there is something definitely wrong and she needs to come in for a CT immediately and the doctor needs to see her. Well HELLO---she has been telling them that for a long time!

We wonder, is it an inflammation of an old injury, or is it a tumor?

I tell Megan to keep positive, that by thinking too much will only make her crazy and not change the outcome in the end and to believe in the power of positive thinking/the law of attraction.
But I also told her that I would be thinking the same thing, and how very hard this is for her.

It is a shame that the doctors don't listen to their patients, and prefer to give them drugs rather than look for alternative options, and LISTENING to your patients should not be one of the alternative options. Maybe because it is the military/government, they are tied in with the drug companies, which keeps the big money machine rolling.

I don't know.

So, I will be writing more when I know more. Like with anything else in life, it is a moment at a time, and I do my best to BE in the moment. And breathe.


PS Megan and Randy..a few months ago


Anonymous Cathie Cardwell said...


Thank you for sharing your blog with me. My heart aches for your beautiful daughter. Being an LMS survivor as well, I feel exactly what your daughter and those who love her are experiencing. I wish for you healing, hope and happiness. God Bless~

5:54 PM  

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