Saturday, May 05, 2007

On Being Mary Poppins

I usually don't repeat what I write in my personal blog here, but sometimes my personal blog crosses over with this one. Though the main function of this blog is about my daughter's cancer, progress and treatments, it is also about how cancer and illness affects other people in the ill person's life. And sometimes about LMS, the cancer itself.

I have been away so I have not talked much to Megan about what is going on with her medically. She is having insurance problems so she has not gone yet for the MRI's that the orthopedic docs want done. She is still seeing the oncologist as they are trying to fix her blood which is out of whack (I don't know details) as well as the stomach ulcers which did not heal during her chemo and radiation.

Her boyfriend is considering joining the ARMY full time and if he does, there is talk of her and Alanna moving with him. I worry about that. I can't even talk about it without getting upset and sad. So I won't right now until I know more.

But while at my sister's helping her and her family as she just had a little baby boy, I composed this blog, and I am cross-posting it.

On Being Mary Poppins

"Practically perfect people never permit sentiment to muddle their thinking." --Mary Poppins.

I was in the bathroom at my sister's house doing my routine of massaging in my face lotion, brushing my long hair, applying the little bit of makeup that I wear...and suddenly I felt very sad. I put down my brush and stared off into space in the tiny bathroom thinking about Mary Poppins, and how I felt like I have been popping in and out of people's lives, fixing things, making people laugh, nursing them back to health, loving them, making magic, and then leaving. (or as in this case, perhaps having THEM leave..)

I cried a few tears thinking about new life and how death lurks near, about illness and health, and how I have tried to make things better and how love has given me strength, joy, and wisdom.

I wondered how Mary Poppins felt when she had to leave the people who's lives she had touched and changed?

I had come to my sister's house, befriended her animals, had a wonderful time with her 12 and 2 year old, kept up with basic house cleaning chores like keeping the sink and dishwasher empty, organizing toys, doing some transportation, and did a lot of laughing.

After Mary came home with her baby, we all had lunch together and I knew it was my time to leave. Peter had to put the swing and bed together, Helena needed time with her mother, Mary need to nurse the baby and take a nap. I knew it was time for me to head out onto the highway again and gain strength for the next life I might pop into.

Is that why Mary Poppins had to leave? To recharge for the next event? Did she too shed a tear before she took off?

Before I left I told them how I felt like Mary Poppins, and how I was sad to leave. They were sad too, but my sweet niece said "but Mary Poppins always comes back"....and with that I smiled, got into my car, and drove off with a smile.

And here I am, on the highway, shooting out the windshield of my car......welcoming the greens of spring, the mountains on my journey and thinking about whose life I would next pop into for a bit.

In magic, Patti


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